tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post8714224278059032039..comments2023-04-09T07:50:22.398-04:00Comments on 39 For the First Time: Strange BrewVictoriaKPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07987993161693042703noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-25034637102786616972011-01-17T09:06:38.975-05:002011-01-17T09:06:38.975-05:00Thanks for the feedback everyone!
I definitely ag...Thanks for the feedback everyone!<br /><br />I definitely agree that we could have done without the stuff about the weather. I think I was intending to go somewhere with it but never did. I confess to leaving the piece a little last minute and therefore without the necessary editing.<br /><br />Glad so many people liked the VD joke. I remember typing it up and laughing to myself and wondering, "Is this juvenile humor?" and then deciding "Who cares, it's making me laugh."<br /><br />I am so glad I've discovered The Red Writing Hood. I've loved all the feedback and connecting with other writers. And I love the fact that I'm confident enough now to call myself a writer.VictoriaKPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07987993161693042703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-74194347507475046842011-01-17T07:04:08.836-05:002011-01-17T07:04:08.836-05:00I love those little throwaway jokes...VD. The natu...I love those little throwaway jokes...VD. The natural back and forth between mother and daughter feels very authentic. <br /><br />I tell you the story I'm dying to hear? Anything involving her work. Seriously...so much potential for humor and awesomeness there. <br /><br />Keep it up.Nancy Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04313721217543578257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-7697649536557335432011-01-16T22:13:27.100-05:002011-01-16T22:13:27.100-05:00Ha! I really liked the story. You did a fantastic ...Ha! I really liked the story. You did a fantastic job putting the ingredients in. If I hadn't known the prompt, I don't think I would have noticed it. The only part that I felt was a little stilted was where you didn't use contractions like "There is a Korean "and "There is also a bakery." I find that when I type, I naturally type the whole word instead of the contraction, so when I go back through to proofread, I have to read it out loud to find the spots that sound funny. Other than that, I thought it was great. Loved when the mom misunderstood and when they were trying to think of nicknames. :) Very fun!Not Just Another Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01455496431589188635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-27319891764298169952011-01-15T07:12:58.099-05:002011-01-15T07:12:58.099-05:00Great read, I really enjoyed the details, and of c...Great read, I really enjoyed the details, and of course her job revelation was my favorite part! I didn't see that coming :-)Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-69108017531933666122011-01-15T00:00:00.818-05:002011-01-15T00:00:00.818-05:00Very interesting little story!Very interesting little story!Valerie Boersmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08372768206512562126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-68309193497492124492011-01-14T21:46:17.299-05:002011-01-14T21:46:17.299-05:00I think overall you did a nice job! Speaking of wh...I think overall you did a nice job! Speaking of which, I love her job and how her mother misunderstands!<br /><br />My only suggestion would be, you don't need all that conversation. Unless it's moving the scene forward.<br /><br />For example, some of the talk about the weather. <br /><br />Just think about the dialogue and ask yourself whether it's necessary and what it does for the story. If it doesn't advance it, you can lose it.<br /><br />Hope that helps!!! ;)Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-59237103187447633822011-01-14T20:02:56.413-05:002011-01-14T20:02:56.413-05:00Sounds like you have some pretty good stuff in you...Sounds like you have some pretty good stuff in your pantry. ;-)<br /><br />This is a fun story! I love the play with the names.Karen M. Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972093977468313631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-4320956159722271462011-01-14T17:06:39.093-05:002011-01-14T17:06:39.093-05:00I didn't think it sounded forced at all. Very ...I didn't think it sounded forced at all. Very nice flow and I loved the interaction between mom and daughter. You very cleverly and beautifully weaved (wove?) the ingredients into your story. I really enjoyed it. :o)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03989767313207307745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-69419252113600377182011-01-14T17:04:38.948-05:002011-01-14T17:04:38.948-05:00Great job! The ending made me laugh! I thought th...Great job! The ending made me laugh! I thought the part about the weather was a little stiff, but overall great dialouge. Verbana Delores, ha!Jessica Annehttp://adventureswiththreegirls.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-334632485304709507.post-89530569441186399782011-01-14T16:10:00.167-05:002011-01-14T16:10:00.167-05:00Hehe, excellent! Love the back and forth. And I gi...Hehe, excellent! Love the back and forth. And I giggled at calling a poor kid VD :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com