Lessons from Vacation

A family adventure at Universal Islands of Adventure.

         Did you ever wake up from a nap or finish a meal and think, “Wow. That was exactly what I needed.” Maybe you didn't feel tired or hungry. Then you took care of your needs and suddenly it becomes crystal clear that you needed that nap or that perfect grilled cheese as much as you need oxygen. That's how I've been feeling since I got home from vacation last week.

Legoland: The Holy Land for my boys.

         For five days I didn't cook a single meal, wash a dish, pack a lunch, fold laundry, or even drive a car. For five days I drank Butterbeer, watched people make balloon animals for my kids, played with Legos, screamed on roller coasters, read a novel, and wrote in my journal. I went an entire week without needing to see my chiropractor (something I haven't done in a year).

         I came home wanting to write—not feeling like it was something I was supposed to do like taking out the garbage or making the bed. I went to work happy to be there (not as happy as I was to be on vacation of course, but definitely happier than I had been before). My chores seem a little less chore-like this week. I know this afterglow won't last forever. I just hope I'm perceptive enough to not wait so long before I go on vacation again. I needed that time off... like a long nap on an overcast day or a perfect grilled cheese when I've waited to long to eat. I needed that time off like oxygen.

Sometimes you need to get dizzy to feel grounded.

The Homework Momster

Today I’m linking up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. The prompt, “What about school do you miss the least?” might have meant for us to discuss what we didn’t miss from our own school days. But what came to mind for me (in large block letters) was what I won’t miss when my kids are done with school in June.

            Monday through Thursday from 4:00 to 5:00 are the worst four hours of the week. We stagger into the house tired and hungry from work and school. There is nothing more I want than to make a cup of tea for myself and a snack for the boys. I want to put my feet up and hear about their day. I want to listen while Owen gets outraged about the Cherokee being forced off their land. I want James to tell me about the reptile guy who came to the school today.

            But there isn’t time. There is too much homework. They’ve been in school since 9:00 and they each have at least another hour of work ahead of them. For a while I tried sending them outside to run off some of their energy before they settle down. I worry that they don’t get enough time outdoors and it’s usually dark by the time homework is finished. Instead of being more focused and relaxed they would run back inside every fifteen minutes to see if their time was up. They just want the homework over with. They know that getting to play beforehand just puts off the inevitable. Homework stretches beyond the dinner hour if they play first. From their perspective, it makes bedtime come that much sooner.

            So while they’re doing their homework, I’m usually emptying the dishwasher and trying to get dinner made. They ask me questions about homework, which I do my best to answer. Sometimes they get distracted and tell me about something that happened in school. I want to hear, but I want them to focus on their work so they’ll get it over with. I tell them to tell me while we’re eating dinner. They’ll bicker with each other; I’ll get irritable and tell them to get back to work. Dinner takes twice as long as it should to make because I spend so much time telling them to stay focused.

Of course they aren’t the only ones who are distracted. Most days we need to be somewhere right after dinner—Cub Scouts, soccer, baseball, rehearsal. So I’m keeping my eye on the clock while I’m juggling their questions and my other tasks. I hate the person I become when my kids do homework. She’s short tempered and mean. She doesn’t have time to listen to the things her kids need to tell her. My fondest wish for this summer is to replace the phrases “hurry up” and “stay focused” with “tell me more about that” and “slow down Pal, we’re in no hurry.”

Williamsburg, Continued

This post is a continuation of my earlier post Destination Williamsburg.

            On Wednesday we were ready for some non-historical fun and headed to Busch Gardens Williamsburg. Since our boys have never been to a major theme park like Disney or Six Flags before, I warned them that they should prepare themselves to be standing in long lines for all of the rides. We also discussed the fact that there would be rides they wouldn’t be able to go on just yet—and more importantly we talked about the fact that there would be rides Owen would be old enough for, but not James. As the youngest (and shortest) of four kids myself, I know how disappointing it can be to be the only kid too small for something. Fortunately, at Busch Gardens, kids can get measured as soon as they walk into the part and get a list of rides they’re tall enough to go on. James was happy to see that there were more rides on his list than we were likely to get to in one day.

            Our family only split up twice so Owen could go on “bigger” kids rides. James didn’t mind since I let him play one of the games. I normally don’t shell out the money for games at fairs and parks because I’m cheap frugal. But since Owen was getting the opportunity to go on a roller coaster called Apollo’s Chariot I made an exception. James won a stuffed blue monkey playing “Whack a Hun” against me. Blue Monkey (his name, according to James) quickly became James’ best friend and went on all of the rides with us. There was a scary moment when he was left in the bumper cars, but we were happily reunited.

Monkey buckled up and ready for take-off!

            Owen emerged from Apollo’s Chariot feeling slightly queasy and “scared half to death!” Apparently some of the ladies on the ride gave him props for his bravery. He didn’t ask to go on another big coaster. I think maybe he felt like James got the better part of the deal—getting a monkey and not getting terrified and nauseous. Sometimes it is good to be the little one.

            There are plenty of rides for younger kids at Busch Gardens. I was pleasantly surprised how much my kids liked the Sesame Street area of the park. I’m sure if you asked, they would tell you it’s a TV show for babies, but it was one of the few attractions they wanted to visit a second time. I love it when my kids want to act their age.

            The temperature was well into the 90’s the day we went to Busch Gardens so it wasn’t crowded and I was wrong about the long lines. We never waited longer than five minutes, so we went on lots of rides. It also meant that by 4:00 we were all very hot, very tired and ready to head home. We left with smiles on our faces, memories in our hearts, and a little blue monkey.

            We spent the next couple of days taking in Yorktown Victory Center and the Jamestown Settlement. The boys were still having fun, but I could see James getting a little “historied out”. He had seen all the cannon firing demonstrations he needed to for a while and was more interested in  chasing dragonflies and chickens (both are abundant in the places we visited). We packed up our gear on Friday and headed to Maryland for a few days with family before we went home. It was a great trip and I learned a few things along the way.

            1.) You can buy wine at Target in Virginia—and fireworks! What a great state!

            2.) Wearing a Red Sox cap outside of New England is a great conversation starter.
            3.) I must be from Massachusetts, because courteous drivers really confuse me.

            4.) Vacations are way too short.

            5.) I like grits. With butter. Everything is better with butter.

            6.) If you tell people you’re from the Boston are they expect you to sound like they do on “Cheers”. Blame my high school drama teacher for putting those r’s back where they belong.

            7.) No matter how great a trip it was, it’s nice to be home.

Destination Williamsburg

 

            If you’re a regular reader, you may be asking yourself, “Where have you been Vickie?” Rest assured, all is well in my little world. My family took a much-needed vacation to Williamsburg, VA. I had every intention of keeping up my blog from the road. But, frankly, I was having too much fun with my family to spend much time on the computer. I checked e-mail and facebook a grand total of three times while we were away. I put so much effort this summer trying to get my kids to unplug, I finally took my own medicine.

            We set out at 3:00 AM Monday morning. The timing worked out beautifully—too early for morning rush hour traffic in NYC and too early for afternoon rush hour in Baltimore and DC. The kids slept on and off until we stopped for breakfast midway down the New Jersey Turnpike. I had packed them both bags filled with books, Mad Libs, notebooks, markers and their handheld electronic games. We were about 2 hours outside our destination before I needed to fire up the portable DVD player. 

Owen's Artwork

            We were in very heavy traffic just past Richmond, VA when the car lost power. Dan limped the van over to the right hand shoulder. The temperature was well into the 90s, we were eleven hours from home and our car was dead. A very nice man stopped and jumped our car. It started but as soon as we disconnected the jumper cables the engine cut out again. Fortunately a AAA tow truck arrived eventually and took us to a local garage. I have to shout out to Jack AKA The Car Doctor of Williamsburg in Tuano, Virginia who thought this was a lousy way to start a vacation. He had already finished his work for the day but went out of his way to pick up the part we needed (an alternator) and got us back on the road within an hour and a half. He even let us into a curio shop he owns so we could get out of the heat. The kids were restless by then (understandably so!) but my husband came up with the brilliant suggestion of playing “I Spy” while we waited. The shop was full of ceramic statues, figures and pictures. It kept us occupied until Jack had finished the work. An hour later we were on our way.

            We arranged to stay in a two-bedroom condo called Greensprings Vacation Resort. I was sure the pictures we had seen online were too good to be true. Could the pool be as lovely as the photos on Expedia? Had they been taken at just the right angle so the rooms would appear more spacious? I’m happy to say my cynicism was unjustified. The facility was beautiful. The resort has and indoor and outdoor pools, a number of playgrounds, and plenty of planned activities. Our condo had recently been renovated and we had two bedrooms, two full bathrooms—both with Jacuzzi tubs, fully equipped kitchen, washer and dryer, dining room, living room and terrace. We got a really good rate through a friend who owns timeshare points through the group. But the price of $250 listed on the various websites I checked would have been worth it. We’ve found staying in a condo or apartment set up works out much better for us than a hotel or motel. It’s nice to be able to put the boys to bed in their own room for the night and I love the flexibility of being able to prepare a few meals myself. Even with a lot of restaurants now offering healthier options on children’s menus these days, I can’t escape the fear that my kids are going to wake up one morning with a crispy breaded coating from eating out so much.

            Tuesday morning we went to Colonial Williamsburg, which was less than twenty minutes from our condo. We started off with a guided tour with an interpreter who told us about the restoration of Williamsburg. She was very interesting, but the boys were getting antsy. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before they were drawing water from a well:

and playing the games colonial children played:

and learning how to prime, load and fire a musket:

And learning their lesson...

Twice.

       Pretty soon we were hot and exhausted so we stopped to have lunch at The Shield’s Tavern. There were menu choices from both the 18^th and the 21^st centuries—I had an authentic colonial Rueben. Okay, okay, the only one of us who got into the 18^th century spirit for lunch was my husband Dan—he ordered bangers and mash. The kids of course had their daily dose of chicken fingers and hot dogs (big surprise!).

       After we took a break from the Virginia summer sun it was time to have some more adventures. The Military encampment was probably the boys’ favorite part of the day. They got to throw tomahawks (fortunately the heads were leather rather than iron or stone):

and learned how to fire a cannon:

But it wasn’t all weaponry. We visited the Powell House where the boys helped in the garden and kitchen and even learned to make a needle book to take home.

Now if I can only get them to do this at home!

Owen confided to me that Williamsburg was much more fun than he expected it to be. I think he suspected this would be an “educational” trip and was wary of it. But getting his hands dirty in history turned out to be a blast. And that was just the first day of our trip. More to come!

Unplugging our Summer

...in which Victoria realizes she isn't Super Mom

            In a fit of trying to be summertime super-mom, last Monday I announced to my children that they would each have only two hours of “plugged-in” time per day during vacation. Much to my surprise my kids thought that seemed pretty reasonable. I suggested that they carve out four 30-minute blocks to play video games, surf the web or watch TV. I’m not vehemently opposed to electronic entertainment, I simply want the boys to make choices and not just flip on the TV the second they get bored. This way they won’t waste 30 minutes of valuable time watching something they really don’t care about.

            The first day was a bit painful. By 8:00 am I had already yelled at Owen to stop pouting and let me make breakfast. Things improved slowly as the day went on. I found that asking them to help me with various tasks had two possible results. Sometimes it kept them occupied and other times it was the motivation they needed to find something else to do. They were happy to help me load the dishwasher and put the food away after breakfast. But when I needed to spend some time weeding the garden they suddenly wanted to swing on the swing set. We had our ups and downs but by midday they began constructing a fort out of blankets, chairs and pillows in their play area. It was loud in my house, but they weren’t watching TV and they weren’t pestering me or complaining they were bored.

            I had a little more planned for them on Tuesday. We loaded the bikes into the van and went to the park. Both kids have just stopped using training wheels and are enthusiastic to hone their skills. Unfortunately our street is terrible for a beginning cyclist. So the park is a great solution since there are paths to ride on and no cars to worry about. I did need to worry about them mowing down the occasional hapless pedestrian. But it wasn’t especially crowded on a Tuesday morning. They got tired and hot (and super mom forgot to bring water bottles) so we headed over to a shady play area for a while. They met a bunch of new kids.  They played on the teeter-totter, climbed rocks, slid down the slide and even played cops and robbers. I didn’t know today’s children even knew how to play cops and robbers! They were getting fresh air, using their imagination, and not watching TV. I was in Mommy heaven.

            Now if you’re waiting to hear that Wednesday got even better, sorry to disappoint. It was clear on Wednesday that this unplugged thing works best if Mom has a plan and I didn’t. We were going to help make decorations for Vacation Bible School at church at noon, so I figured getting through the first few hours unplugged wouldn’t be a big problem. I gave in and allowed extra TV time just so I could get some ironing done. I would clearly be a more unplugged Mom if I had a maid.

            By Thursday I learned my lesson and did I have a plan! We got haircuts, went to the library, I took them to the Y (free babysitting while I worked out!), and then we went to family swim at the Youth Division Y. It worked like a charm, the kids hardly plugged in all day. There was just one problem. I had to go to work at 6:00. By 2:00 I was so tired I could hardly stand.

So I’ve figured out the some of the secrets to getting the kids away from TV and computers. This week I’m going to figure out how to balance it out so I’m not a zombie by the time I go to work. Anyone have any ideas?