Friday, February 25, 2011

RDC: The List


            I must confess that this piece for The Red Writing Hood meme almost didn’t happen this week. While I had an idea of what to write about early in the week, I did almost no writing thanks to a nasty flu-like bug that hit me and both of my children. Did I mention the kids have school vacation this week? Not the perfect environment to write, but I managed to phone this one in finally. The mission: “Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig's List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.”



The List


FOR SALE:  A list of seven qualified and dependable babysitters. After living in this neighborhood for eleven years, my family is moving cross-country for a new employment opportunity. One of the things I’ll miss most about living here is the list of babysitters I’ve managed to acquire after much trial and error. Not listed are the ones I stopped calling because they fed the children meals of unheated Spaghettios or let them watch The Jersey Shore. I have also left out babysitters who “entertained” visitors of their own while we were out. These seven people are truly wonderful and deserve to keep getting hired. I can vouch for their characters and have made extensive background checks on each of them. I’ll furnish you with a list of their numbers—for a price (I’m hoping to defer the cost of moving expenses a bit).
            The list includes (but is not limited to):
            Jane*  is a grandmother and retired kindergarten teacher who loves children. Her own grandchildren live out of state and she misses them terribly. She likes to baby-sit so she can spend time with children. The children love doing arts and crafts projects with Jane. She works cheap, but doesn’t drive after dark. Have a daytime appointment or need to run errands without the children? Jane’s the one to call.
            Mandy* is a sophomore at Glendale Community College where she majors in child psychology. The kids just love Mandy. She is willing to plays board games for hours and is happy to listen to them chatter on endlessly. Unfortunately, kids aren’t the only ones who love Mandy. She’s rarely available on Friday and Saturday nights.
            Courtney* is a senior at Blessed Sacrament High School and a member of the varsity soccer and softball teams. The kids really like her because she runs around outside with them. I love her because the kids get really tired out when she comes over. She’s going away to school next year. Enjoy her while the summer lasts!
            Carol* is a stay at home mom. She is very reliable and I know the kids are in excellent hands with her. They eat nutritious meals and go to bed at a reasonable hour when she watches them. The kids don’t get quite as excited about her coming over to baby-sit for some reason.
            Also for available for a smaller fee—a list of babysitters to avoid. You can’t be too careful.



*Real names withheld until payment.

19 comments:

  1. I am so jealous. I would love to have any of these babysitters. Our babysitter is going to the Naval Academy next year...the nerve! I need to find a smart, not-too-popular, not-too-motivated person to watch my spawn. Preferably 14 so I can keep her for awhile.

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  2. This is a great ad! I'm an aunt, not a mom, but I understand the difficulty of finding decent babysitters!

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  3. Having a good babysitter is SO important. We have one we like, but she's pretty busy, so she's not always available when I call.
    Glad you're feeling better :-)

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  4. Quite a valuable list, I must say. Ooh, and then when you get to your next home you can sell your "babysitting screening" skills!

    Very clever!

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  5. OMG, I would pay huge money for something like that.

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  6. Ooh..the list of the ones to avoid. You'd make a killing for both lists!

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  7. Hmmm... what can I sell to make the $$ to buy that list.

    We've got Gramma and Memere, but no other sitters...

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  8. Oh, I would have loved a list like this at one point in my life! A good babysitter is hard to find....

    Great take on the prompt, and hope you're feeling better!

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  9. This is great! I'm so nervous to have to start using babysitters other than my mom.
    I'm going to have to have a lie detector hooked up.

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  10. I need a babysitter desperately...I will pay top dollar!!!

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  11. Very clever!

    Also, I haven't left my kids with anyone other than close family, and I am jealous of your list. I would pay for them all, especially Courtney who will get them nice and tired.

    I also like the bit about selling the list of babysitters to avoid, because who wants their kids watching Jersey Shore??

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  12. I think the list of people to avoid is worth more. Up your price!!

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  13. I would seriously buy that list. I have one who is rarely available. That has got to be the hardest thing to leave behind.

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  14. That list is GOLD. I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

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  15. What a great list!! I love how you did this prompt!

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  16. Ahhh, all that AND the list of names to avoid?? Any parent would jump at the chance!

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  17. The best part of living close to family is not having to hire a sitter. I hear horror stories.

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  18. My husband doesn't want to move far from his parents or my mom. I don't want to move either because they're babysitters!

    I would pay to see what's on the other list!

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  19. Wow, a list like that would be worth it's weight in gold! Both lists, actually - but I'd hope with the first, you could avoid the second.

    My babysitter had to go get a life and now rarely has time. I'm facing the "trust" issue with anyone else - many friends here have family to help out, but all we have is my mother-in-law, who is a good "playmate" but physically incapable of being left alone with awake children.

    I love how you did this.

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