Karen’s mother Peggy was frying bacon in her cast iron skillet. A year ago the smell of bacon would have pulled Karen into the kitchen. But since she started working at the diner, bacon smelled like greasy customers and bad tips.
“I can hear you rattling around in your room at night,” Peggy said. “Why can’t you sleep?”
“I have to get out of that diner Mum. I’m trying to save up enough money to take the secretary course at Miss Fairchild’s but it’s taking so long.”
“I have to get out of that diner Mum. I’m trying to save up enough money to take the secretary course at Miss Fairchild’s but it’s taking so long.”
“You’ve never complained about the diner before,” she said as she slid a plate in front of Karen.
It was a simple sandwich—toasted white bread, bacon, iceberg lettuce, mayonnaise and a supermarket tomato that tasted like cardboard. But Karen knew it was her mother’s way of showing she cared. Peggy didn’t hug or kiss. She didn’t say, “I love you.” But she always fed the people she loved.
“I just want a job where I don’t sweat all day.”
“Like mine you mean? There’s nothing wrong with an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work.”
“I know that Mum. But wouldn’t you work a better job if you could? I want to be able to wear nice clothes. I hate listening to guys talk about me.”
“Is someone bothering you?”
“Not bothering exactly. There’s this boy—from the college. He’s nicer than most of them and he’s been coming around a lot lately. He keeps asking for my number. He doesn’t believe me that we don’t have a phone.”
“Willie will talk to him if he’s hassling you. You don’t have to take it.”
“He isn’t hassling me. He just wants to go out with me. But I don’t have time for a guy. All I want to do is make something of myself.”
“That’s my girl. Don’t give that college boy the time of day. That smooth talker probably thinks you’ll spread your legs because you have to work for a living.”
“Mum!”
“You listen to me! Those college boys make look pretty and talk nice, but their pecker is just as dangerous as any truck driver’s. You get knocked up and you can kiss being a secretary goodbye.”
“Mum!”
“Eat your sandwich will you? It’s bad enough you aren’t sleeping. Don’t stop eating too.”
Karen took a bite. It was easier to swallow than her mother’s advice.
This week we showed you a picture of a delicious BLT and then asked you to write, in 400 words or less, a post inspired by it. Did you stick with the sandwich? Did you make it the main focus of your post? Did you just see bacon? Link up your take on this delicious picture. You can read more about my character Karen here.
This week we showed you a picture of a delicious BLT and then asked you to write, in 400 words or less, a post inspired by it. Did you stick with the sandwich? Did you make it the main focus of your post? Did you just see bacon? Link up your take on this delicious picture. You can read more about my character Karen here.
The last line is money. I like the blocking in this one. It takes you into Karen's angst really well. More please.
ReplyDeleteAhh... well done. She doesn't like it but my guess is that she'll take her mother's advice.
ReplyDelete"Bacon smelled like greasy customers and bad tips." So true. I worked in a deli for a while and the smell of fried chicken about sends me over the edge even to this day. Reminds me of cigarettes because a group of old men would sit outside of the deli and smoke and shoot the shit all the day. Every time the door opened, the smell of Camels and Pall Malls came wafting into the place. Yick.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the bad tip sentence was good, as was the last one.
ReplyDeleteI liked this piece a lot. Loved how the mom shows her affection with food. I DO THAT TOO!!! You captured that weird moment in time when a mom starts speaking to her daughter woman to woman, not mother to child. And it's usually a little (if not a lot) shocking and uncomfortable, isn't it? Well done!
I love how well you portray the mum - I picture her as kind of worn out, but tough as nails - no funny business. Her advice makes sense, but I dunno... I hope that Karen takes Mr. college up on his offer of a date, he seemed really sweet in one of the previous posts you had him in.
ReplyDeleteYou set the mood here so well, Karen's small ambitions, and her mother's weathered advice.
ReplyDeleteLoved the last line. Your dialogue was spot on.
ReplyDeleteYou've written Peggy's personality perfectly! My mom would never give me that advice that way, but I know women who would. Blunt. This feels like the beginning of something? Would love to read more of these two.
ReplyDeleteI love where Karen is going. There is some real potential for growth with her. I get the strong feeling that she's trapped, but she's going to escape. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI love the live linking bacon and tips. I did not eat bacon for years because of it! Well done on the prompt. You really know how to make a scene come to life!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this! I really felt for the daughter and could picture her mother. It was a great description of her mom linking the sandwich to how she shows love. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThe last line was my favorite. You pulled me into the story and kept me interested in the angst between mom and daughter. It's interesting how one mom feels about college boys as oppossed to others, I felt that shift in the words. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for Karen. She wants more out of her life but she isn't getting the support she needs from home. I wonder if this college guy could be the push she needs to move forward in her life.
ReplyDeleteI love that you've caught the flavor of how hard it is to want more than what's good enough and the balance of hearing advice and reaching past it for a dream.
ReplyDeleteI love it! Especially the final line. It's perfect!
ReplyDelete