Friday, July 6, 2012

Closer



            Charlotte opened the sunroof of her little Honda coupe. The cool autumn breeze shattered the perfection of her carefully styled hair. She pressed number three on the CD changer and sang along:
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain

There's more than one answer to these questions

pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
            Today she stopped trying to be someone she wasn’t—the person she had tried to be for years. She was more than a brilliant student. She was more than her research. She didn’t have a name for what she was and that was okay for now. For once, knowing the answer didn’t matter. She knew without question that this was the right path. Realization surrounded her like armor, like a warm blanket, like sunscreen. The time was right.
            Her cell phone rang. She glanced at the number and tossed the phone into the passenger seat.
            “Not today Honey,” she said out loud. “Today belongs to me.”
She pulled into the passing lane and sped up. Going faster, but no longer running away.

 

I’m linking up with Write on Edge today. Our prompt for the week was to write about “Freedom” in 400 words or less. For once, I didn’t have a hard time sticking to the word count. Charlotte has a lot to say. But for now, she’s just enjoying the ride. She has an interesting journey ahead.

18 comments:

  1. The Indigo Girls are powerful. I love the last line. It says everything.

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    1. Thanks Lance! I think I had forgotten how good their lyrics are. I've been rediscovering my old CD's lately.

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  2. Loved this. Enjoyed the last line, "Going faster, but no longer running away."

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  3. Oh yes, I love that song, too.
    Sometimes I put on "Anywhere but Here" or "32 Flavors" and just SING!!!!!

    I also love when my foot hits the gas pedal (esp in high heels) I feel the power of the car and myself, how much I am beyond the labels I live in sometimes.

    but this is YOUR piece and it was wonderful, powerful and self aware. I liked it very very much!

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  4. wonderful. Ive been that woman in the drivers seat with the windows down, singing along to that same Indigo Girls song, ignoring calls to lose myself in the moment.

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  5. Lovely. The cool autumn breeze shattered the perfection of her carefully styled hair. << That is an awesome line. Love it.

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    1. Thank you! I'm so bad with hair, I'd have to REALLY want my freedom to open my sunroof on a well-styled 'do.

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  6. I loved the comparison of realization to armor or sunscreen. That was inspired. Of course, now I want to listen to the Indigo Girls!

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  7. I enjoyed this scene. You definitely got the sense of freedom she was experiencing with her realization.

    Especially loved this line: Realization surrounded her like armor, like a warm blanket, like sunscreen.

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  8. Love this scene. It's pretty inspiring it itself to see someone just letting go and just BEING.

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    1. Thank you! Writing it made me want to do exactly what Charlotte was doing!

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  9. Excellent job! And you did it without ever mentioning the word freedom. I also loved your comparisons. I'd love to see how this ends.

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    1. Thank you so much! This is just the beginning with Charlotte. She's been in my head for a while, but she's tricky :-).

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  10. I have to agree with the last line. It's stunning, and I think that it's something many people (ok, at least me) would love to find: a little burst of energy towards something.

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  11. This captures the moment where you hear a random song and it just clicks and everything makes sense beautifully. :)

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    1. Thanks! Certainly the mark of a good song, wouldn't you say?

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  12. I love that last line most, I think. That defines the freedom perfectly. Well done!

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  13. Oh, to be Charlotte right now! Possibilities opening out with the road ahead. Nice imagery and the last line is killer!

    Love it, Victoria. xx

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