This
may have been one of the most fun I’ve ever had writing a story. This week’s
Trifecta challenge was to write in 33-333 words about the personification of
Death. The idea came to me while lying on the chiropractor's table staring at a model of a human spine. It is the first story I’ve ever written that casts my real self in
a fictional situation at my real life job selling mattresses. Everyone needs a
comfy place to sleep. Everyone.
Death Takes a Nap
Gooseflesh
rippled across my skin at the sight of the tall black figure
“Oh
God. Not yet,” I whispered.
“Don’t
worry Victoria. It isn’t your time,” he said. “I’m here for a new mattress.”
I
expected his voice to be a raspy baritone like Clint Eastwood. Instead, Death
sounded a little like Elton John.
“A
what?” I asked stupidly.
“A
mattress. I’m not sleeping well lately.”
“Work
stress?”
“No
my dear. I am content with my occupation. I would sleep, ‘the sleep of the
just’ as they say if only I had a decent mattress. I’ve been sleeping on a
pallet of straw. It’s probably a hundred years old.”
“You’re
probably the first customer to tell me that and mean it literally.”
“I
always speak literally. Occupational hazard.”
There was an
awkward silence and I forced myself to think of him as just another customer.
“Do
you sleep on your back or your side?’
“Side.”
“Do you get hot or cold at night?”
“Do you get hot or cold at night?”
“I’m
always cold,” he said sounding weary.
“Give
this a try. It’s a plush memory foam pillowtop.”
“Wouldn’t
firm be better for my back?”
“Not
necessarily. A heavier person who sleeps on his back would need something firm.
But since you sleep on your side and you’re...” I paused to think of the right
word. “Slim. A softer mattress will
offer you better support.”
“Fascinating.
Would you mind?” he asked, handing me his scythe and climbing onto the bed.
I looked around
and realized the mattress department was deserted
“There
is an energy keeping everyone out of this area while I’m here.”
“Will
I remember this happening?”
“I’m
sure you’ll never forget it. You know, I’ve never laid on something so
comfortable. You have done me a great service Victoria.”
“Maybe
you’ll return the favor some day,” I said handing him back his scythe.
“I
do believe it will be quite some time before I see you again,” he said with
what might have been a smile.
Ha! Great concept for a story! I love the pause to think of the right word. :) The dialog here is very natural. Fun read!
ReplyDeleteThis is fun! Have you read The Book Thief? The whole book is narrated by Death. Really haunting, but beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis is fun! Have you read The Book Thief? The whole book is narrated by Death. Really haunting, but beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I hate to say that I got completely distracted halfway through when I thought that maybe I, too, need a softer mattress, because I'm a thin side-sleeper. And then I realized I was comparing myself to Death in order to consider my mattress needs. . .
ReplyDeleteAnyway.
This is fantastic. If it were mine, I'd hide the intro at the top, where you confess that this is your actual job in real life. It's funnier, to me, to think you created all that information out of thin air. Very clever. Poor Death. I hope he finally catches some zzz's.
Too funny! I love the idea of Death needing a new mattress so he goes shopping just like anyone else.
ReplyDelete