This week's RemembeRED prompt from The Red Dress Club was to write about affection.
Our Morning Goodbye
It’s a hot September morning. The boys grumble because I’ve forced them to wear “church clothes” to school. They’d much rather be in tee shirts emblazoned with Sponge Bob or Star Wars characters and athletic shorts. It’s the first day of school—only one of two days that I insist the boys wear a shirt with a collar and khaki shorts or pants. The other day is school picture day. I’m sure they’ll grumble when that day comes too. I take a snap shot before the boys leave for school and we head up the hill to the bus stop. They race ahead of me, their green and blue L.L. Bean backpacks bouncing along. We arrive with a few other neighborhood families. The moms ask each other about their summers and try to keep the kids from getting grass stains on their new clothes. The kids play and compare their new sneakers.
The yellow bus comes around the corner. “Here comes the bus,” I call to my boys who have wondered off to investigate the ants on the sidewalk. James jumps up, runs and plants a kiss on my cheek so quickly I can barely feel it and races to the front of the line to board the bus. Owen goes more slowly. He gives me a hug, we kiss each other’s cheeks and he climbs the steps of the bus. He turns towards me and waves. I blow him a kiss. He catches it and puts his hand over his heart then blows one to me. I catch the kiss and place it on my heart.
We perform this goodbye ritual every day at the bus stop (and again at bedtime). The bus can’t leave until it’s complete. There are days when I am in a hurry or feeling stressed and I can’t help but feel impatient for him to just give me a peck on the cheek and hurry on his way. But I know these days are numbered. Plenty of kids younger than him walk away from their parents without a backward glance. Next Thursday is the last day of third grade for Owen. How long will my sweet boy take the time to give me a multilayered goodbye? On my better days I remember that our morning farewell is a blessing.
Yesterday morning I had to hurry home to meet an appliance repairman at the house. I was nervous that he would arrive before I returned from the bus stop.
“I’m going to start walking back home as soon as the bus stops.” I tell my boys.
“You aren’t even going to say goodbye?” Owen asks me.
“Of course I’m going to say goodbye. I’ll just have to make it a quick goodbye.”
“We better do it now then,” he insists. He hugs me, kisses me and blows me a kiss. I catch it and place it over my heart.
Ah the sweet love between mother and son. My son, now 21, has a fiancee'. I feel second place most the time. However he got stung by a wasp a few days ago and asked me to take care of it "like you always do". Even after they are grown I guess they and we still want and need that love and affection from each other.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by from RDC to say hi! Love your description of the Long Goodbye - it conjours up such a sweet picture.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a great peek into your boys personalities. My mom still speaks of how I was the quick peck on the cheek kid while my sister needed the hug, kiss, and second hug before she would leave. To this day, she still is like that. Perhaps Owen will remain too.
ReplyDeleteOh this one really pulled at my heartstrings. You really captured the love, the emotion, the ritual and yes, it's importance. Sob, sniffle these sweeties are amazing, aren't they?!
ReplyDeletemy toddler gives me a "smooch" and a "squeezer" before I leave her at daycare in the mornings... sometimes she holds on a little longer, and mornings that I'm already running late I feel the pressure to leave, but my heart knows that before long she will be running without a backward glance... I'm going to cherish those extra long hugs - especially when I'm running late.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing - wonderful piece of writing!
My heart just melted...what a gorgeous tradition you have, one that you and Owen will remember as long as you're alive.
ReplyDeleteI know that the days are numbered and so I take all the hugs I can now, the love and the kisses.
thanks for sharing this with us, it's sitting on my heart now too.
Rituals like these are so important. They let kids know they have a secure place in the world, that they are loved. This is a sweet story. I'm sure your boys will remember these moments for years to come.
ReplyDeletesuch a sweet picture, and I love the ritual you have. I have a goodbye/goodnight ritual with several of my children, and am conscious of the days being numbered for it being important for them as well.
ReplyDeleteOh cute. It's hard to imagine them not wanting our affection.
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