Thursday, January 5, 2012

Edmond O'Brien


            He showed up on Karen’s doorstep the morning of her mother’s funeral. Dad looked like he had made an effort to clean himself up. He was wearing his favorite suit—the one that always made him look so slick. Now it was out of date and much too big. Dad had gotten smaller since he walked out of their lives six years ago.
            “Hey Princess,” he said when she opened the door.
            She had practiced this moment in her head a thousand times. Each time she answered with cool disinterest or a well-timed scathing remark. But when the time came, she couldn’t deliver. The man in front of her wasn’t the sly con man with a line for every occasion. He was just a sad old man.
            “I came to see your mother one last time,” he said. “But I heard I’m too late.”
            “Why?” Karen whispered not know if her question was “Why did you want to see Mom?” or “Why did you wait so long?” or “Why did you leave?”
            “Can I come in? Look Sweetie. You don’t owe me a damn thing, but please? After all I put you and your mother through I’m too late to even tell her I’m sorry,” he began to cry. Big messy tears rolled down his shrunken cheeks.
            “I’m on my way to the funeral home,” she said trying to be cold. “You can come with me if you pull yourself together and stay sober.”
            “Thanks Darlin’. I haven’t had a drink in six months. I was on my way back to make amends with you and your mother, That’s part of the AA thing, you know? Making amends for all the people you’ve hurt.”
            “That ought to take a while.”
            “I know. I won’t get to everyone. I’m dyin’ Sweetheart.”
            Karen didn’t believe him. She thought it was another one of his cons. But it turned out to be one of the few truths he ever told.

“How shall we inscribe the stone?” The funeral director asked Karen a few months later. She sat with a pencil and paper trying to decide.

Edmond O’Brien 1905-1970

Absent Husband, Deadbeat Dad, Con Man, Drunk

She crossed it out. It was a little too honest and a little too mean.

Edmond O’Brien 1905-1970

isn’t buried with his wife.
Maybe he’ll get it right
in the afterlife.
            Karen giggled. “I’ll never be a poet,” she said as she scribbled over it.
Edmond O’Brien 1905-1970
He wasn’t much, but he was the only father I had.
            She stopped giggling and cried for the first time since the day he walked out. She cried for their time together at the beginning of her life. She cried for their time at the end of his life. Mostly she cried for all the time in the middle they never had.


            This week’s Write on Edge prompt was to “Write a fiction or creative non-fiction piece in which an epitaph features prominently.”If you're interested in reading my first piece about Karen you can read about it here.

18 comments:

  1. Such a sad ending. The good thing was that she had a little bit of time with him at the end... and hopefully amends were made.

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  2. Such a sad tale of missed opportunities. Choices you make...

    I really liked your second epitaph though :)

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  3. Great writing: crying really helps. As does finding a strapline for a man who let you down for a huge chunk of your lifetime.

    Compelling stuff.

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  4. Wow that was something else, very powerful stuff.

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  5. Heartbreakingly good. I have a handful of Edmonds in my family. I hope they know that if I get to write their epitaphs, I'm going with the first one...brutal honesty is the best policy.

    I loved the dialogue and her honest emotion at the end. This is an exceptional work.

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  6. Oh, very nice, especially the epitaphs themselves.

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  7. What is it about fathers???? Very well done.

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  8. So sad but realistic. It doesn't sound like Karen resolved much with him, but she seemed to be at peace in the end.

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  9. I love the honesty. The wavering between what he deserves and what she wished he deserved. I love that she choose grace, yet didn't white-wash it.

    And I thought the opening detail of that shiny suit, that small face, was vivid.

    Nice!

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  10. I liked this, especially when the laughter turns to tears.

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  11. Wow. I liked this story, especially the last lines, "She cried for their time together at the beginning of her life. She cried for their time at the end of his life. Mostly she cried for all the time in the middle they never had."

    How many kids have missed that middle part of life with a parent? You did a wonderful job with the prompt. Made me laugh at the epitaphs she tried to write and reminded me that, regardless, we are connected to our family...even if it's writing someone's epitaph.

    Thanks for sharing this.

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  12. WONDERFUL!!! The best part about this is when she has her little punchy poetic moment. One of those fits of giggles you get when you just don't want to give into the sadness that some part of you knows is going to hit like a thunderclap.

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  13. I love her humourous epitaphs. Perfect.
    I really felt for her when she dissolved in tears in the end.
    (this story made me think of my grandfather... it could have been him you were writing about)

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  14. Very raw and honest emotions. It's amazing that no matter how angry we are- we only want love from our parents- no matter how many times they hurt us. I love how you captured that.

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  15. That second epitaph is pretty awesome, and a fantastic moment of dark levity in a sad story.

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  16. She had practiced this moment in her head a thousand times. Each time she answered with cool disinterest or a well-timed scathing remark. But when the time came, she couldn’t deliver.

    This just seemed so darn real. Loved it, along with the epitaphs and the ending lines. Bravo.

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  17. You made me cry, so that means, it's good. You portrayed the evolution of her emotions in the last paragraph beautifully.

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  18. Wry and beautiful, spiced with humour... and so poignant. Well done!

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