I’m
linking up this week with Write On Edge. Their prompt challenged us to use
local items or industries as a focal point to develop our setting. I thought a
Dunkin’ Donuts on a road that leads to Cape Cod would be perfect for painting a
certain picture. I’ve written most of the dialogue phonetically, except in
cases where I didn’t think the phonetically spelled word would be understood by
the reader. For example, Danny and Debby would pronounce the word “we’re” as
“weyah”. Below is a video called “Shit Boston Guys Say” that very accurately
(and humorously) portrays the way a lot of young men from the Boston area sound.
It’s full of strong language, so if that offends you, you may want to skip it.
Labor Day Weekend
“Occupational
hazid,” Debbie muttered as she
smoothed her uniform shirt over her muffin top. Ignoring the unflattering
reflection in the plate glass window, she unlocked the front door to the
Cranberry Highway Dunkin’ Donuts.
It
was Labor Day weekend and the store would be crowded with people on their way
to the Cape for the next couple of days. Debbie’s feet and back would be killing
her by Sunday afternoon. But by Tuesday the traffic would slow down and if the
warm weather held on long enough, Debbie might get a visit to the beach
herself.
Danny
Sullivan came in as he had everyday for the last two years. Debbie had his
large regular iced ready before Danny reached the counter.
“Youra
life savah Debbie,” he said pulling his wallet out. “What ah you gonna do if I
come in and ohdah one of them fancy flavahed lattes?”
“I’ll
probably have a haht-attack if that evah happens Danny.”
“That’s
fresh Debbie. I’ll staht goin’ to that Stahbucks if you keep that up.”
“Right.
You’ll nevah go to Stahbuck’s Danny. You’d hafta cross the bridge.”
“True. Tourist oughtta hafta learn to
drive in a rotary befoh they lettem go down the Cape.”
“Damn
right Danny,” she said with a grin. “You should run foh govenah.”
He
laughed, took off his Red Sox cap and nervously ran his hand through his sandy
hair. His summer wiffle was starting to grow out and his hair stood up in
awkwardly even spikes around his head.
“Listen
Debbie, you doin’ anything tomorrow night?”
“Probably
just soakin’ my feet? Why do you ask?”
“Me
and my brothah are gettin’ a bunch of people togethah. We’re gettin’ some
lobstahs and steamahs. You should stop by. It’s gonna be pissah.”
“Sounds
like fun. What can I bring.”
“We
could always use moh beeh.”
“I’ll
stop at the packy on my way ovah.”
“Great!
I’ll see you then.”
“See
you then Danny.”
He
picked up his coffee and walked out the door.
“About
friggin’ time Danny Sullivan,” Debby said as she watched his truck pull away.
The dialog is perfection here! Love this!!
ReplyDeleteLOL Love the ending. Great bit of dialogue, but a few of the words I struggled to decipher from the accent.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have trouble with dialogue, but I could "hear" this. And now, though you didn't mention them, I want a donut :)
ReplyDeleteThe last line is perfect!
This was good, but I too, struggled just a bit with the accent.
ReplyDeleteYour ending made the piece. :) I also loved the occupational hazard. LOL FWIW, the phonetic depictions of dialect almost turned this southern instead of nor'east. Although that underscores something I've known for a long time: the various word sounds are a lot closer together than we realize they are. :)
ReplyDeleteDown the Cape!!!
ReplyDeleteLove that. I slipped into my long lost accent to read it. Good stuff.