Friday, June 22, 2012

100 Word Song: Gray

 
            She fell into the seat as the bus lurched from the curb. Normally she would choose the cleanest seat she could find. Today the seat chose her. Caught somewhere between emptiness and agony, she stared out the window. The sky was gray. The streets were gray. The colors of the big city once dazzled her. Today they melted into gray. Her supervisor’s words devastated her.
            It isn’t you. It’s the economy.
            The bus driver’s gravely voice startled her.
            “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
            “It’s the end of the line Miss.”
            “I thought you said the end of the world.”

           
My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog
Today I’m linking up with two prompts for the price of one. Write on Edge asked us to make an active phrase passive and build a 100 word story around it. “She was devasted by…” became “Her supervisor’s words devasted her.” Meanwhile, Lance over at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog gave us the song “Grey Street” by The Dave Matthews Band to inspire a 100 word story.
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13 comments:

  1. MarianJune 22, 2012 at 6:39 PM

    ACK this is totally anxiety-attack producing. ACK.

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  2. k~June 22, 2012 at 9:41 PM

    Very nicely done! I must have missed your link on the linky thing, I came by from Write on Edge. Either way it was a pleasure to read you; I look forward to watching your words again soon.

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  3. Suzanne EarleyJune 22, 2012 at 9:56 PM

    Great job. My favorite part was the seat choosing her...

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  4. PurpleMooseJune 22, 2012 at 11:38 PM

    end of the line - end of the world - sometimes one and the same.

    well done.

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  5. Sandra TylerJune 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    So immediate. I felt her desolation. And wonderful apt ending.

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  6. angelaJune 23, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Great job using the active voice with the supervisor's words, but my favorite part was:

    The colors of the big city once dazzled her. Today they melted into gray.

    It shows such a sense of lost hope.

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  7. BarbaraJune 23, 2012 at 7:23 PM

    Great, great lines here - so emotive!

    "Caught somewhere between emptiness and agony" "today they melted into gray. " - excellent!

    And really heartbreaking - it is such a common story these days, but it never fails to wrench the heart a bit!

    Love the active tense in that the "seat choose her" - A great image!

    - barbara @ de rebus
    www(dot)barbaragildea(dot)com

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  8. CameronJune 23, 2012 at 11:17 PM

    The end of the world. It does feel like it sometimes, doesn't it.
    Love your passive to active choice!

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  9. Shelton Keys DunningJune 24, 2012 at 12:47 PM

    love your take on the prompts! The colors blending to grey...nicely done!

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  10. UnknownJune 25, 2012 at 12:38 AM

    That was really good!

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  11. AdrienneJune 25, 2012 at 8:07 PM

    I love what you did with this! Poor thing, this woman! btw, I love that song too. :)

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  12. AnonymousJune 26, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    So well written, and a feeling I hope I only ever experience through these 100 words!

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  13. AnonymousJune 27, 2012 at 1:11 AM

    Wow! This is really good. I can feel the turmoil and disconnect she has. Painful.

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